10 Things the Cullens and LOL Cats Have in Common
by BlindedMirror
Summary: A series of one-shots about the Cullens and their crazy antics, all inspired by LOL cats. Traditional parings, mostly IC, post Breaking Dawn. Link to LOL Cat images can be found on my profile.
1. Renesme

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight characters, nor do I own the LOL cats used to inspire these stories. Link to Images can be found on my profile.  
**

**EMPOV**

"I wouldn't sit there if I were you." Nessie was about to sit on Esme's newly upholstered sofa. For some reason Esme was being really protective of this couch. No one was allowed to sit on it for 24 hours, something about glue needing to dry. She even went so far as to rope it off and put a sign on it. Personally, I think she was still a little miffed about the last couch. I may have accidentally broken it when Jasper beat me at Guitar Hero 3. Nessie just smiled at me and sat down anyway.

"Nessie did you hear me? Esme doesn't want people on that couch. She put a sign up and everything."

She dangled her feet off the edge and started swinging them back and forth. "Oh Emmet," She replied smirking at me, "when will you learn the rules don't apply to me."

"I know you're cute and little and all but Esme will still murder you when she sees you on that couch."

She yawned and stretched out. "Whatever" She looked like she was about to fall asleep.

"You'll see. In fact, here comes Esme now." Just then Esme walked into the room carrying a massive pile of freshly folded laundry. Heehee apparently I am the lucky one today, Esme's timing is perfect. For once I won't be the one getting in trouble.

"Esme, I swear I told her not to-"

"Shh-" Esme cut me off with a hiss and an evil glare. "You'll wake her." I watched horrified as Esme pointed lovingly at the little monster curled up on her new sofa. At that Nessie sighed and rolled over to face me. She opened one little eye and smirked up at me.

"But you said no one could…" How can this be happening?

"Yes well, she's a growing girl, and she needs her sleep. So leave her alone."

"But she's faking. She's not even really-"

"No buts. I swear Emmet if you wake her you are grounded. I mean it no x-box for a month. Now go up to your room and leave her be." With that Esme continued walking up the stairs and out of sight. As soon as she left the room Nessie opened both eyes and grinned at me. What just happened here? Did I just get sent to my room because Nessie broke the rules? She crooked her finger at me to come closer. Moving as little as possible she reached up and touched my face.

"_Oh Emmet," She replied smirking at me, "when will you learn the rules don't apply to me."_

She played back our earlier conversation dripping with satisfaction. She patted my cheek lightly and whispered. "What can I say, I'm exempt."

"Emmet" Esme called. "Come on, upstairs now."

I groaned and straightened up. Little monster freak, I'll get you one of these days. You think you're so cute. We'll just see what happens once you grow up and the family stops treating you like a little baby. Then I'll get the last laugh. I thought bitterly to myself as I climbed the stairs away from the little faker who was once again _sleeping_ on the couch.


	2. Alice

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight characters, nor do I own the LOL cats used to inspire these stories. Link to Images can be found on my profile.**

**AN: I know that I said these were all Post Breaking Dawn but this one is sort of a flashback. **

**ESMEPOV**

I was folding laundry. Most of the laundry consists of towels and sheets since Alice rarely lets us wear the same clothes more than once but Renesme and Bella have a few favorites they insist on keeping. No one else in the family, except for Bella, has ever really used a washing machine so it has always been my chore. I don't mind though I've always liked doing the laundry. It is one of the things I do that makes me feel normal.

I smiled to myself as I went to bring a pile of clean sheets up to Alice's room remembering a "normal" day when we first moved to Forks. It was long before Bella came along and Renesme was never even imagined.

_Flash Back_

"Esme have you seen my keys?" Edward yelled from the garage.

Before I had a chance to answer Jasper called out, "Emmet put them in the piano."

"Why?" Edward's second question was cut off when Rosalie started bellowing from her room.

"I. CAN'T. FIND. MY. SHOES. Where are my SHOES? Em, have you seen my new Manolos? I swear I put them at the foot of the bed last night, but they aren't there now." Emmet ran by me in a towel with his hair dripping into his face. "Did you look under the night stand Rosie?" The entire house was in an uproar and it made me smile. Carlisle had already left for work leaving me alone with my kids while they got ready for school. Since we don't sleep and have a tendency to drive ridiculously fast you would think it would be easier for them to be on time, but it's like this every morning. To be honest I wouldn't have it any other way. With the kids running around here misplacing keys, searching for lost papers and that one missing earring everything just seems right, things felt better. I felt better, normal, human.

As I sat on the couch watching Edward plopped down beside me. "Esme, is it just me or are Mondays always worse than the average school day?"

"Apparently, Mondays are universally despised no matter what you happen to be. This morning Carlisle was running late too. To save time he tried to comb his hair and brush his teeth simultaneously."

"Oh yeah, what happened?" Edward chuckled, seeing the scene replay itself in my mind.

"He ended up with a hair brush in his mouth and toothpaste in his hair." I snickered. Oh I love that man. "I never have understood why he insists on brushing his teeth before he goes to work. His teeth don't get cleaner he just destroys the toothbrush and gets the little bristles everywhere."

"I asked him about that once. He said it puts him in a more human frame of mind, it makes it easier for him to deal with the patients." I shrugged, I guess that made sense.

"You guys better hurry or you are going to be late."

"You're right, thanks mom." Edward gave me a swift kiss on the cheek and bounce up to stand at the bottom of the stairs. "OK people let's go! Last one to the car has to ride in the trunk." Edward yelled.

"Have fun at school kids. Try not to cause too much trouble for your teachers, they are only human remember." I said as I kissed each in turn as they rushed by me on their way to the car. Edward, Emmet, closely followed by Rosalie, Jasper and … "Jasper, where's Alice?" I called to his swiftly retreating back.

He skidded to a stop in the living room and looked around him for his little wife. "Alice, are you coming honey?"

Rosalie bounced back into the room after Jasper. "Are you guys coming or what, Edward is getting impatient and Emmet is insisting that he gets to choose the music today." We all heard a loud crash and a few muffled curses.

"Language!" I scolded.

"If you don't hurry up and get to the car I think my husband might be missing an arm soon." Rosalie sighed.

"Sorry Rose, we can't find Alice." Jasper shrugged still looking around him as if he expected her to drop from the ceiling. Which, I guess made some sense since that is what happened last Thursday.

"Alice! It's time to go to school, where are you?" I called out trying to be helpful.

After a few seconds went by with no response Rosalie smirked and turned to Jasper saying, "I suggest you try looking in her closet. Though you may want to think twice about opening the door, she's created a nest."

I looked at Jasper apologetically as he rolled his eyes.

"That's it I'm leaving, everyone else can walk." Edward called out with a groan from his seat in the car.

"Oh no you don't Edward!" Rosalie shrieked as she glared in the direction of the garage, "I am _not_ walking to school in these shoes they would get totally destroyed!"

Edward sighed and was back in the living room in a flash. "Fine we won't leave. Besides, Emmet had a good thought, for once."

"Hey!" cried an indignant Emmet as he barreled into the room.

"And what was that?" I asked.

"If Jasper and Alice get to skip I think we all should. It would look less suspicious. Besides, who really wants to go to school?" Edward finished.

"Alice." We all answered in unison.

"So why is Ms. Always Perky hiding in her closet?" Emmet asked.

"I have no idea." Rose answered. "All I know is that when I went in there to find my Gucci hand bag she hissed when I opened the door."

"Edward?" I know that he normally tries to give the family members as much privacy as possible but it would help if we knew what was really going on.

"Sorry Esme, she's just singing to herself."

"Alright then I guess we'd better go up there and see what she wants. Come on Jasper lets go."

Emmet chuckled and followed along. "I love Mondays"

Edward and I stopped to look at each other. _Well I guess Emmet is an exception to the rule._

"Shouldn't really be surprising, when is Emmet ever usual." Edward muttered.

"I heard that." Emmet grunted.

We all gathered around the door to Alice's massive closet and were greeted with silence from the other side.

"Alice it's time for school, please come out now." I said slowly opening the door. It slammed shut again with a small growl from Alice. Ok so that didn't work.

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen you are making everyone late for school. Get out here now." I tried a firmer approach pulling the door handle again.

"NO! Go away you're letting the Monday in!" Alice yelled pulling the door back.

"How about I let the Jasper in instead?" Jasper said with a sly smile. He slipped inside the closet quietly shutting the door behind him. After a few minutes without any changes Edward cringed and glared at the door. His expression changed to an evil smirk and he took a step closer to the door.

"Oh Alice," He said in a sing song voice, "if you don't come out I'll tell Carlisle what happened to that book you 'borrowed.'"

"Nice try Edward but he already knows." Alice replied.

"Fine then, how about the-"

"Give it up Edward, you're paltry attempts at blackmail are not going to work on me." Alice said sounding completely relaxed making no move to leave the closet. Edward stiffened and hissed quietly.

"You little pixie, don't you dare touch my car. Fine, you win, for now." He said shifting to stand between the closet and the bedroom door.

"Why are we even bothering? Can't we just leave her in there?"

"You kids need to go to school so that we can stay here longer. I like Forks and I don't want to move again so soon." I said. "So there really isn't any choice here we need to get Alice out of the closet."

"Fine, then I have an idea," Rose said "Alice if you come out and go to school with us I'll let you borrow that new cocktail dress Valentino sent over last week."

"Rose you know he made that dress for you, why would I want to wear it?"

"I saw the way you were looking at it and I was just trying to be nice. We just got here and I don't want to have to move because you decided that-" Rose huffed. Emmet decided to step in before Rose got too upset.

"That's enough of this. I'll just break the door down and we can drag her down to the car."

"If you damage that door I'll take away your PlayStation for a week." I growled. "I just replaced it last week."

"You know," Edward said stepping between Emmet and the closet door. "If Jasper is in there too she has no incentive to ever come out."

"Being forced to move _again_ isn't incentive enough?" Rose asked indignant.

"What do you mean Edward? Why would she want to stay in there?" I asked attempting to diffuse Rose's mounting agitation. I should not have brought up the possibility of moving.

"I mean that she everything she could ever want in one room, shoes, clothes and Jasper. At this rate she'll never come out of there." Edward finished.

"That's a good point. Jasper, sweetie, why don't you come back out here, give Alice a reason to come out too." I called quietly.

With a grumble and a few crashing sounds from the closet Jasper appeared back next to Edward with a distinct disheveled look and a smile on his face. Edward groaned and took a step away from him.

"Come on, we need to go to school. We've missed too many days; people are going to get suspicious that we never fall behind in our coursework." Edward said sounding disgusted and somewhat bored with the whole situation. I hope he finds someone soon. Being surrounded by couples when you are single can't be fun. Every time I look at my first son I can't help but wonder if having a partner to share his life with would change him, would make him happier. He says he is happy but his smile never seems to reach his eyes.

"I don't wanna." Alice's petulant reply cut into my thoughts and brought my attention back to the current situation. I looked at each of my kids in turn.

"Now what do we do?" Rosalie asked. "Emmet tried force, I tried to trade with her, Edward tried blackmail, Jasper tried persuasion and Esme even did the parent thing. Nothing has worked. Even using Jasper to lure her out here seems to be failing."

"You know Rose maybe your trade wasn't such a bad idea." Edward said with a far off look in his eyes.

"What are you talking about she didn't even consider my proposal for a second."

"True, but I think you might have been using the wrong trade." Jasper put in catching on to Edward's train of thought, "I know just the thing." He winked at us and turned back to the closed door in front of us.

"Alice, I think I have the perfect trade for you." He started, "If you come out and go to school like a good little pixie I'll take you shopping in Seattle this afternoon. I'll even call Mr. Lewis and get him to close the western side of the mall so it can be just the two of us."

There was silence. Suddenly Edward broke into a grin and the door slowly opened enough for Alice to peak her little head out. "Get him to close Tiffany's too and we have a deal."

"Done." A wide smile broke over her face and she ran out of the closet to hug Jasper.

"Finally," Rosalie exclaimed "Let's go." Emmet chuckled happily scooping her up and carrying her out the door. Edward turned and started to follow them.

"We should hurry I have to take a history test second period. I hate taking history classes when we have lived through most of it."

"What's the test on?" Jasper asked following him out the door.

"It covers important political events in the US during the early 1900's. There is a big emphasis on the effects of the Spanish Influenza. Apparently the teacher read a paper on it while he was in college that 'changed his life.'" Edward replied over Jaspers quiet snickers.

Alice grabbed her bag and was about to go down to the car when I stopped her.

"Oh hold on a second Alice." I said grabbing her arm lightly. "Before you go I wanted to know; what is the real story? You always are the one who likes school." She smiled and shrugged nonchalantly.

"I wanted some leverage to make Jasper take me shopping. Besides, it was amusing." She chirped as she bounced happily down the stairs. I couldn't help but smile, that's my girl.

I listened as my kids finally all settled into the car. "Here you go Alice."

"What are you – Emmet I am not riding in the trunk."

"Well you were technically the last one to the car." Rose chirped.

"I could ride with you if you would like." Jasper suggested.

Edward quickly interceded, sounding slightly panicked "Not in my trunk! Alice, just get in the backseat and let's go."

_End Flash Back_

I chuckled to myself. They didn't get Alice in the trunk on the way to school but the way home was a different story. I don't know how it happened, but I know it did because one of the kids took a picture of her in the trunk and put a framed copy on the wall in the living room. I opened the door of Alice's closet to put her sheets on the shelf and almost dropped the pile in surprise. Alice and Jasper were curled up together on the floor of her closet surrounded by a familiar looking mountain of pillows. I was so lost in thought I hadn't heard anything before I opened the door. There were no lights on in the closet but Jasper was reading to himself with Alice curling herself around him tucking her face into his chest. "Esme you're letting the Monday in _again._" She whined. With a smile I handed Jasper the sheets and shut the door on my way out.

Who am I kidding; my family can never be normal, no amount of laundry can ever offset that craziness.

**AN: It took me a while to finish this chapter but this is almost four times the length of the first one and I worked on the third chapter at the same time. The next part is almost finished but I am moving this week and don't know when I will get a chance to post it. It shouldn't be more than two weeks.**


	3. Jasper

**Disclaimer: I do not own the twilight characters, nor do I own the LOL cats used to inspire these stories. Link to Images can be found on my profile. This chapter contains quotes from various Sherlock Holmes novels, I don't own those either.**

**APOV**

The lights dimmed ominously as I stalked around the corner all the while keeping my prey in sight. My _innocent_ little husband was sitting on the couch casually reading a book.

"Alice what are you doing honey?" Esme asked walking silently to my side.

"I'm gonna get the truth Esme, once and for all. Mark my words, before the day is out all the mysteries will be solved. I will find the culprit and everyone will know what truly happened to my car! "

"Oh is that why you are dressed up like Sherlock Holmes?"

"Really you think I look like a detective? Emmet said I looked like a door to door salesman."

"Oh Emmet was just trying to get to you, of course you look like a detective sweetie."

"Yay! Ok now back to work, I have to see a man about a stool pigeon."

"Can I play too?" Esme's question stopped me in my tracks. I was shocked, something that didn't happen often with the whole I-can-see-the-future thing.

"I know I normally leave you kids to yourselves and don't get involved. But reading Sherlock Holmes books is one of the few memories I have from my human life. I always loved to climb trees and have adventures. Besides, you need a Watson."

I already had a costume formed in my head. Oh this is going to be good. "Indubitably my dear Watson. Let's go get you dressed."

Five minutes later Esme was ready to go, all she was missing was a hat. I knew the perfect one but it was in Bella's closet. Since Edward and Bella moved into their cabin, their room here mostly was used for Nessie when she spent the night. I was a little surprised to open the door and find Bella curled up on the bed reading.

"Bella, what are you doing here? Where are Edward and Nessie?"

"They're with Carlisle having some Daddy-Daughter bonding time, and as for what I am doing… well I thought that was pretty obvious. I think the real interesting question here is what are you doing?"

"Esme and I are playing Sherlock Holmes. We're going to interrogate Jasper and find out who is responsible for what happened to my car."

"I thought Sherlock Holmes mostly did the evidence and clues thing not the lets beat the truth out of this guy thing."

I let out a small growl. No one is going to ruin my fun now. Bella quickly held up her hands in surrender, she knew better than to start a fight with me.

"Honest I didn't mean anything by it. Though, if you ask me, what you really need is the classic good cop bad cop routine. It works every time."

Suddenly I had a flash of Rose yelling in Jasper's face while Bella stood off to the side with a sympathetic expression.

"I was next door and I heard you guys talking, I want to play too." Rose said as she sauntered into the room followed closely by Esme. "But, only if I get to be the bad cop."

_This is gonna be good._

"You know my methods Watson. Everyone else, huddle up, let's talk strategy." For the next five minutes we talked strategy, spy gadgets, code names, and escape plans in case things got messy.

"Ok everyone, operation Falcon one is a go. Everyone get into positions. On my mark Alpha team advances to the forward left flank." I said seriously looking at the map I had drawn of the house and our battle stations.

Rose rolled her eyes and breezed by me.

"Hey you can't do that you're breaking formation!"

"I'm the bad cop I get to do whatever I want." She flung over her shoulder as she pranced down the stairs.

Bella shrugged and Esme patted my shoulder sympathetically before turning to follow her lead. With a sigh I quickly made my way down stairs and joined the group as we surrounded the couch and coffee table with Jasper included in the middle. He didn't seem to notice us but we all knew he was purposely ignoring us as he casually turned a page of his book.

"It's not going to work," Jasper said without looking up, "I'll _never_ talk."

"We'll see about that." Rose said as she viscously ripped the book from his hands.

I took the book from Rose and placed it gently on the coffee table. "Let us retire to the kitchen; I believe the table in there will better suit our purposes."

With a sigh Jasper stood and followed the rest of us through to the kitchen table. He sat with his back to the wall, the table between us and him.

"Before I say anything, I want a guarantee of full immunity for any and all things revealed in this interview."

Rose growled and leaned on the table encroaching on Jasper's personal space. "We don't give immunity to dirty little criminals. Now we can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way. Personally I prefer the hard way, it involves pain, lots of pain."  
"Really, and who is going to cause that pain Rose, you? The only way you can cause me pain is with the emotions you throw off when you look in a mirror… or puddle, or any reflective surface for that matter."

Rose growled and launched herself at Jasper. Fortunately I saw it a split second before it happened and was able to hold her back in time to save Esme's table.

Bella walked quietly around the table. "Mr. Whitlock," Bella started pulling out the chair next to him. "We understand the difficult situation we are putting you in by this interview. While we can't grant you full immunity, it may be possible to bargain for a reduced sentence. However, what we are able to give you is going to depend fully on what you can give us and how well you cooperate with our investigation."

Without a word he held out his long white hand for us to proceed.

"Mr. Whitlock where were you on the night of the incident?"

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Esme and I were outside looking for evidence. We circled the garage searching each blade of grass for any indication of who might have been behind it.

Then I spotted it on the cement floor of the garage. "Watson I have found it!"

Esme came running to my side. "What is it Holmes?"

"You said that there were no traces upon the ground round the body. You did not observe any. But I did—some little distance off, but fresh and clear."  
"Footprints?"  
"Footprints."  
"A man's or a woman's?"

"They are the footprints of a gigantic hound!"

"Impossible!"

"How often have I said to you, my dear Watson, that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, _however improbable_, must be the truth!"

Carlisle and Emmet walked up to us in the garage.

"Hey, Emmet, hey Carlisle," I said cheerily. "Where are Edward and Nessie?"

"They're on their way. They took the car so they are behind us by a few minutes. What are you two up to?" Carlisle asked smiling brightly at the both of us.

"We're playing detective to try to find out what happened to Alice's car." Esme said.

Emmet circled my car and laughed uncontrollably. "I don't know what you are so upset about Alice I think it suits you perfectly!" He boomed. I could see Carlisle trying hard to repress his own grin. I pouted a bit and hit Emmet when Carlisle and Esme weren't looking. I smirked as he rubbed the back of his head; it made me feel a little bit better.

We were all a little startled by a large crash from inside the house.

"What was that?" Carlisle asked a little concern creeping into his voice.

"I think it was the Xbox."

"NOT MY XBOX!" Emmet wailed. "Why would they do that?"

"Rose and Bella are inside interrogating Jasper about the car."

"Oh man I have got to see this." Emmet chuckled and raced to the door all thoughts of his Xbox temporarily forgotten.

With a chuckle we all turned and followed Emmet inside to check on Bella and Rose's progress with the suspect.

"Who are you protecting?" Rose screamed into his face as we walked into the dining room.

"What are you talking about, who says I am protecting anyone?"

"It's the only reason to not tell us the truth. Either you are protecting your own guilt, the guilt of someone you love or you are protecting yourself from retaliation from the guilty party. So which is it Mr. Whitlock?" Rose said slamming her hands on the table. I saw Esme wince out of the corner of my eye.

Jasper for his part just stubbornly set his jaw and shook his head. Bella came over and put her hand lightly on his shoulder.

"Look sweetie we just want what's best for you. We will find out eventually and it would be better for everyone involved if you just came straight out and told us what you know."

"Are you going to talk or are we going to have to send you up the river?"

Bella looked up and pranced over to Edward's side giving him a swift kiss on the cheek.

"Hey honey, I'm being the good cop. Where's Nessie?"

"She said she left something in the car, she'll be right in. What is going on here?" Edward asked smiling down at his wife.

"We're trying to get Jasper to tell Alice what happened to her car. So we have Sherlock Holmes, Watson, a good cop and a bad cop."

"Whoa, Alice set Rose on him. Her car can't be that bad." Edward sounded shocked.

"Did you see it Edward? Did you see what happened to my baby?" I choked once and started to pitifully whimper into my hands mourning my loss.

"Alice baby please don't be sad. You're making me sad! It's just a car."

"Just a car! It was never just a car, it was beautiful; a masterpiece of German engineering, exquisite in its perfection. Now sitting in its place is a shallow mockery of what once was my pride and joy."

I just continued to dry sob and sniffle into my hands.

"Ok fine, I can't take it anymore! I did it! It was me… and Jacob in the garage with the _paintbrush_!"

There was an audible gasp from everyone in the room. My head snapped up and I locked eyes with my guilty husband.

"It was you all along! Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked feeling betrayal and shock swirling through my system tempered by the sweet peace being in Jasper's presence always brings me.

"'Cause it wasn't his fault, it was all my idea." A tiny voice said from behind us. Carlisle and Edward moved aside to reveal Nessie looking sadly up at the group.

"Nessie!" The strangled cry came from Bella who, along with Edward, looked shocked and a little disappointed.

"How could you? You know better than that young lady." Edward said sternly.

Nessie couldn't look her father in the face. Instead she stared fixedly at her feet. "I'm sorry Auntie Alice I thought it would be pretty. It was a present for your birthday, I made a card too." Her tiny hand held out an oversized card that was obviously homemade with her elegant little script scrawled across the front. Her entire frame was shaking and the poor thing looked like she was about to cry. Instantly all anger and bad thoughts were swept out the door more effectively than Jasper could have ever done it. I crouched down so I could look her in the eye. "Hey hey now, come here." She looked up at me tentatively and then ran over into my waiting arms. She pressed her tiny hand to my cheek to tell me how sorry she was; she really wanted me to like it. My head was still spinning from the revelation, all this time I had thought it was some horrible prank and really it was supposed to be a sweet gesture of love by my precious niece.

"Aww, it's ok sweetie, I understand. How about this? Let's take a drive, just the two of us. We can go and show Grandpa Charlie the new paint job and take some pictures. Then when we get home you can help me paint my car back to the original color."

"Really?" I nodded in response and hugged her tightly one last time.

"Oh thank you Auntie Alice! But, I have to do something first."

I nodded and put her down as she wiggled out of my hug. She ran over to her parents and looked up at them with her big brown eyes. "Mommy, Daddy I'm sorry. I should have known better." Edward and Bella looked at each other having a conversation with their eyes. Finally Edward was the one to break the silence.

"We understand sweetie. Just please think twice before you do something like this again ok? And ask an _adult_ first." Edward said shooting a look over my shoulder at my sheepish husband.

"I promise."

She gave each parent a hug and a kiss. Man it's still so weird to think of Edward as a dad. Parent, Father, Dad, Daddy, Papa, Edward, nope still weird. Nessie twirled and looked like she was going to run back to me but she blew right past me and jumped into Jasper's lap.

"Uncle Jazzy I'm sorry." She said with her face buried tightly into his shirt.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about Nessie. I'm the one who should be sorry. I told you I would keep it a secret and I blew it."

"It's ok you didn't have a choice, and I should be sorry. I got you in trouble."

"Don't worry about it, squirt. I love you and besides, we had fun didn't we?"

She giggled quietly. "Yeah, I liked it when Jacob started chasing the squirrels while he was all covered in paint! That was funny." Huh, so that explains the hot pink squirrel I saw yesterday. Go figure.

"There is still one thing I don't understand." I said as I waited for Nessie by the door. "How did you guys manage to keep me from seeing any of this?"

Nessie smiled conspiratorially at Jasper and turned to me with a wink. "I have the advantage of knowing your habits, my dear Watson."

"Nessie, Esme is Watson I'm Sherlock Holmes." I said.

"Would that make Jake the Hound of the Baskervilles?" She smirked.

"Indubitably my dear Nessie." She giggled and bounced towards my once yellow Porsche 911 turbo. It was now painted in a variety of colors displaying a meadow scene complete with baby blue sky, green grass, flowers, fairies and a few giant pink wolf paw prints.

Then it hit me. "Wait Nessie what does that mean? You know my habits? How did you get by my visions? Nessie?" From inside I could hear my entire family laughing at the situation. Oh dear she is entirely too much like her mother.

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**Author's Note:**

Sorry for the delay it took me longer than I thought it would to get adjusted to being back in the US. I have another chapter that is close to done, unfortunately I am moving again on Monday. Thanks to everyone who has been reviewing and adding my story as a favorite. I promise I will try to get it out sooner this time.


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